Thursday 14 March 2013

Phucking hell!

I don't remember the last time I wrote one of these things and I can't for the life of me remember how many cars I have owned in that time.

Again... I always have wonderful ideas to write a blog post and get us back to our former glory but I always have distractions...
Any old gaming console you don't want,  tick.
Amphibious creatures that eat each other and your wallet, tick.
I've managed to figure out what cars I like in the last year or two... The ones that are completely factory without any stupid modifications.

This is where the problem lies, I manage to somehow purchase a car thinking it can be reverted to standard condition... This can never happen because as soon as you pull something apart it never goes back together as it is supposed to and it always manages to make strange noises or stop working altogether*.

I know the perfect place to start, with a car that everyone (including myself) hated.

New Zealand, you are doing it wrong.

Harlequin... How and why was this ever a good idea? Because to this day I can not figure out why the heck anyone would paint a car this colour. So looking past the paint I purchased some black AMG wheels for it to try tone it down, which didn't work and I moved it on because I didn't want to be seen in it. Sadly the car actually went really well and was a rare manual, some noddy had just ruined it with thousands of dollars worth of bad decisions.

From this we came to the Libero GT, which I thought at the time was a good swap for the Mercedes above... This is where I thought I could make a toyed with car factory again. I shot myself in the foot, lost all sanity and spent too much money on some old bomb.



Turns out turbocharged cars are just bad news even if you try to sugar coat them. Fun to drive and sometimes reliable, I sold this Libero and it ended up looking like the Mercedes above somewhere in Porirua.

So with these learning curves behind me I came to a new formula, find a popular car and properly ruin it myself with the help of my friends.


Phresh and I were out in Porirua one afternoon and we saw this civic at Mobil, factory height, genuine BBS RS wheels and to our surprise it was a genuine EG9 SiR. I went over and had a chat to the fellow filling it up with petrol and it turned out they were tourists, within five minutes I had agreed to purchase their car from Auckland at the end of the week. Within a day of getting home it was bouncing all over the road on home made coil over suspension and by that stage I had found something else I wanted.



The first of the G100 Daihatsu Charades with a one litre, three cylinder turbocharged engine. This is probably the best car I have ever owned, its factory, it works and I don't intend on messing with anything. In my eyes this is the most amazing death trap ever built, just don't drive it on a wet or windy day because if you crash your life insurance wont pay.

Phresh, Phruity and Co are still very much alive... Just on instagram @conanmarriott @feathersword @n0c3rt @hadleighpells @milkspec #HarbourCityLurkers.

I'll leave you with a photo of the two I just cant part with, the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other.

If in doubt, always own a Toyota Corolla.

Chris :)

*Does not apply to french cars, they frequently break down and make no sense prior to modification.